Rebuilding your life after crisis: a guide to self-care.
I’ll be honest, I’ve suffered many a crisis in my life. Mental, physical and otherwise. After compiling my dissertation for its final submission I came to the ominous conclusion that I was unsure on what direction to take my life in. You have probably deciphered by my lexicon that I am a scholar at heart. Always getting rejected from magazine publications for being “too academic”, I considered betraying my principles in the pursuit of happiness. But this is not the case (excuse me for beginning a sentence with ‘but’, that was my attempt at being less “academic”).
After losing my home and job I came to a grim conclusion that I had little to nothing left in my life and had truly hit rock bottom. However, I soon came to summarise that this was the negative critical voice in my head acting and speaking. After reading many self-help book and perusing through endless Youtube videos on the matter I compiled a series of self-help tips to help give me a better grasp on my life. I have no ulterior motive for compiling this list and blog post, but as the age-old saying goes, ‘sharing is caring’.
Personal Hygiene
It is a complicated truth that lack of personal hygiene is a symptom of chronic and fatiguing depression. Here are some tips I have compiled at maintaining a good level of personal hygiene and cleanliness.
Make bathing an enjoyable experience. Invest in essential oils for a bath, a good shampoo and conditioner. The luxe effect of your bath will make bathing an enjoyable and worthwhile experience.
Have a ritual. If you are on anti-depressants set a timer. I will wash my face and brush my teeth before/after taking my meds.
Listen to music or a podcast when in the bath or shower. This will enlighten your auditory senses and make washing a routine you can look forward to.
Take steps when washing. First I will soak my hair. Then I will wash my body. Then my hair. Maybe even shave (of course shaving is a personal choice because, you know, body positivity and all that)!
Sleep Hygiene
Insomnia is also symptomatic of depression and other mood-based and personality disorders. Here are some steps to better sleep hygiene.
Try and sleep at the same time everyday.
Make sure your room is dark.
Use your bedroom to relax and the library to study. There is often a subliminal association between spaces that we use for sleep and work so try to separate these things.
Make sure you wake up at the same time everyday. This will help set a pattern and a routine.
Listen to an audiobook or podcast to help set yourself to sleep. Even some music can help.
Try practices to help you sleep like reading and colouring in. Eventually these repetitive tasks will help you fall asleep.
Thinking Processes
Often your thought processes can affect your self-care routine. Here are some common symptoms of disordered thought processes and how to deal with them.
“This feels bade so it must be bad” - You are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy by paying too much attention to the negative feelings. Fear and depression are temporary states and you can overcome them.
“Everything is going wrong” - similar to the above point you are catastrophising and that is creating a negative self-fulfilling prophecy. Try and look differently at the situation and reevaluate your thinking patterns.
“I am a failure” - This is probably the most common characteristic in what psychologists call your ‘inner bully’. The inner bully is a cruel voice that can destroy your life. It works as your inner saboteur, quite literally sabotaging everything in your life. Just like a school-yard bully find the courage to confront this voice and realise it is just negative and serves no purpose in your life.
“People don’t like me” - You are a depressive not a mind-reader and this is a classic trait of disordered thinking patterns. Thinking you can mind-read other people’s thoughts is as futile as it is reductive. Often it is just your negative perceptions of the outside world making you think people do not like you.
“I don’t deserve nice things”- Treating yourself should not be a shameful, guilty experience. Of course there is always the risk of over-indulgence, which can be a negative symptom of depression and mania, but treating yourself every now and then should never be shunned. You are worthy.
Self-help books and links:
Here are a links to sites and self-help books that have helped me profoundly in my life.
Atomic Habits by James Clear - A perfect book to help you break destructive habits and create new better habits.
The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living by The Dalai Lama (author), Howard C. Cutler (author) - a bit wishy washy for some but a perfect book to help stop disordered thinking and lead a happier, healthier life based on Buddhist beliefs and practices whilst incorporating the art of meditation.
Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg Mckeown - Another fantastic self-help book on my reading list.
Shoot the Damn Dog: A Memoir of Depression by Sally Brampton Part memoir, part informative, this is a perfect book to help those suffering from depression.
Through The Looking Glass: Women And Borderline Personality Disorder by Dana Becker - A perfect book about borderline personality disorder and the effect it has on women. Especially recommended for those who did not like the controversial I Hate You Don’t Leave Me by Jerold Kreisman.